Continued musings

What a week... or two. When so much time passes between my posts I forget what I have done. This is about the time when I would look back in my journal, that is if I actually kept one. But I don't, so you will have to rely solely upon my ability to recall all that I have done. Hey now, it's not that scary of a prospect! ;)

My Spanish classes have continued marvelously. I really feel like my students are starting to learn! We aren't progressing as rapidly as I hoped to in the beginning, but I think that, realistically, we are moving at a good pace. This Wednesday will be my first adult class. Again, it isn't as big as I had first hoped that it might be, but I know that God has it all in His hands; I did as much as I could, and the results must be left up to Him!
I don't have an "official" job other than teaching Spanish. I have done some odd jobs and have made myself available for babysitting as well. Though some have questioned my decisions up till now I can only say that I believe that I am where God has placed me. It's enough... sometimes it's hard to trust and be patient, but it's enough.

I made a trip out to the college last week with Emily. I managed to accomplish quite a bit in one morning I think! I registered as a student (got the nifty little "student ID" number) and took my placement test. I placed quite well in English, but not so well in Math. It's to be expected; Math has never been my strong suit. Anyway, I still need to sign up for classes, but I really have done all that I can until I decide how I am going to pay for the semester. Money is usually the issue, isn't it? I am praying and watching for the answer.
Honestly, I still am not sure what it is that God has for me. I want to attend school, yet a huge part of my heart was left in Mexico and that part of me (sometimes it feels like all of me) would like nothing more than to return there (... or maybe France. I have always wanted to go to Europe ;) ). Whatever I end up doing, I know that the choices I make in this next year are probably going to shape the rest of my life. It's a rather intimidating thought, but I know that I serve a faithful Master, and an expert Potter whose plans I can trust.

Well, the time has come. All of my friends (alright, not all but most of my friends) are graduating this week. Just this last Sunday I went to the graduation of a friend who I have know since we were... my goodness... like 6? So much time has passed in between, but it was rather nice to be able to see her finish school and take the next big step in her life. I was just reflecting the other day how strange it is that everyone grows up. I know it's a part of life and all, but it's so hard to understand how the little baby of what seems like merely yesterday could be the spunky ten-year-old who just ran by. How is it that the same roles that my friends and I used to fill could now be filled by the younger generation... and when did I become part of an older generation??!! But, the strangeness of it all aside, I really am excited to watch all of my friends take big steps forward, and even more excited to see some of them who are truly chasing after God with all their heart!

Oh, on a cheerful note, I have a new laptop! I am actually at this very moment typing this very post on its very keyboard. Is that cool or what?! It's a refurbished Compaq HP. So far I really like it... we'll see whether I still do after a couple of months, but I have high hopes ;) ! So, now that I do have the laptop I am going to upload pictures... next time I get on. For now I'll just end by posting a short poem that I wrote last Summer. I have kept it in my Bible for the longest time, but I think that it's time that it saw light. If it sounds familiar and you have a facebook account, you probably read it there ;).

ENDURE
All of us grow weary, and all of us complain.
We grow offended in the face of unfair accusation
And we are jealous of those who, through dishonesty, seem to gain.
In waiting we grow impatient, and in difficulty we are burdened with stress.
We flee so quickly from persecution and are even less willing to suffer physical pain.
Is this right? Have we not been called to something more?
For we haven’t suffered affliction and bodily torment as did Isaiah;
Nor have we been rejected by country and kinsmen as was the prophet Jeremiah.
We have not been wrongly accused and killed mercilessly by those we most love, but Jesus was.
Brethren, we have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in our striving against sin.
Perhaps it’s time that we did.

In You is full joy

Alright. Now it comes time for me to write about what I have been doing... and I can't remember anything!! Isn't that always the case?! Well, I have been doing things, though in retrospect I don't think that I have been doing as much as it feels like I have... hmmmm.

Well, a little bit ago now I went out to the college to audition for the Umpqua Singers Music Scholarship. I did not get accepted, but the man for whom I was auditioning said that he liked my voice, I just needed more practice sight-reading. Not a big surprise, since I am not very good at it. He recommended that I participate in the Chamber Choir out at the college this year and then apply again next year. I am interested, but we'll see if that's in God's plans for me! It was a good experience even if nothing came of it ;).

One of the responsibilities I have taken up in my new family (not replacing the old one, mind you :^) just in case any of my family back home is reading this) is a Summer garden. Of course, it isn't Summer yet, but I guess that the name refers more to the season in which you reap the harvest, not when you actually plant the seeds. I have planted squash and tomatoes and peas and bell peppers and parsley and some other potted plants that were given to me and I really have no idea what they are... yet! I guess that I will find out when they start giving fruit! I enjoy being able to work outside and having the garden gives me something that I can enjoy and reap the benefits of.

As Spring advances I am constantly amazed by all of the green that surrounds me! Just as I think that nothing could possibly be any more colorful than it is, something new comes up. I have been supremely blessed by the location of my home. We live halfway up a hill (well, it's a bigish hill/smallish mountain, I don't know what it's technical term is) on the other side of which is a river. It's pleasant to be able to take a short walk over the hill and down to the water where you can just sit and listen and pray and be still. When I stand up on top I can look out in all directions. I can see people walking below, cars driving by, cattle grazing, the river rushing, the birds flying by at my eye level... it's rather nice in a weird way knowing that you could yell at the top of your lungs and nobody would hear. God is good!
This time of year there are wildflowers everywhere. Perhaps when I get my computer set up (should be tomorrow, Lord willing) I will post some pictures so that you guys can picture the view with me.

Emily and I have begun taking regular classes and the YMCA. We have tried a couple, but I think that we have both decided that we like Zumba best. It's a great way to meet new people, be a witness and get a good workout all in one! I know that I must be making a fool of myself what with my feable attempts to keep up with the instructor and follow all of the moves... I have found that I can control my arms fairly well and my feet moderately well, but when I put them both together it becomes... awkward ;) But I am getting better!

Since I have been here in the US I have had the priviledge of of being able to participate in a girls' Bible study that meets on Monday nights (I think that I mentioned this before). It's been great getting to know all of the girls and seeing God work in and through us. We meet in a different person's house each week and this week it was our (Emily's and mine) turn to host the study. Emily was leading and I was providing snacks. This week the book we are going through was focusing on the final week of Jesus' life. It's interesting to note that, while the gospel do give us a good picture of the three years of Jesus' ministry, more than a third of the gospels are centered on Jesus' last week before His death and resurrection. Must have been important, no? There's far more emphasis placed on this than on the 40 days He spent with His disciples and followers after His resurrection. One of the events that the book focused on was Jesus' washing of His disciples feet. I have always loved this story, but Phillip Yancey (Author of "The Jesus I Never Knew") brought it even more clearly into light.
Did you know that footwashing is something that, according to Jewish law, a master could not force a Jewish slave to do? It was one of the most disgraceful and lowly jobs there was. No wonder Peter exclaims, "Lord, do you wash my feet?!" when Jesus comes to him. Jesus humbles Himself in this action, saying to his disciples, "The servant is not greater than the master; therefore, if you see me doing this, do the same for one another."
Last night we had the opportunity to wash one another's feet. It was neat to remember Jesus' sacrifice and, just for a moment, to stop and meditate on what it cost Him... and how willing He was to pay that price.

John 13:12-17
After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them. (New Living Translation)

Be blessed; serve God in what you know to be right. Commit your ways to Him and He will guide your steps. Be strong, friends!

A little trust goes a long way

Trust.
Assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.

Trust.
This word has come to mean so much to me. It's the shortest and best summary of everything that God has been teaching me over the past couple of months, maybe over my entire life. The lesson has been a hard one in learning. Sure, I believe that God is sovereign. I believe that God's Word is truth. I know that He will give me strength when I'm weak. But He still asks me again, "Do you trust Me?"

When I take away your support and remove from you all that you hold dear, do you trust Me?
When I place you in a situation where all you can do is sit still and wait, do you trust Me?
When everything that you thought was to be your future crumbles down, do you trust Me?
When your heart aches and you cry out to me and hear nothing in response, do you trust Me?
When you reach the end of what you are able to bear and fall down under your burden, do you trust Me?

I haven't yet learned to answer all of these questions. I know what my answers should be. I can quote you scripture after scripture in support of what I "know" to be true. But can I answer these questions in deed? I don't know. Life has changed drastically for me. At times my heart longs so for life as it was that I feel I could burst. God asks me again, "Do you trust Me?"
Do I? Lord, help me! I must!
I surrender my rights.
I surrender my dreams.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
Teach me to see with Your eyes.
I trust You.
You, who loved me enough to die for me.
You, who loves me enough to live in me.
You, who promises that I will never walk this life alone.
I trust You.

"Do you trust Me?"

Easter Thoughts

Happy Easter!! Albeit a little late!
Normally this would have been one of the busiest weeks of the year for me, but it seems that Easter really isn't as big a thing here in the States. Of course, I already knew that, but often you don't really "realize" things until you experience them first-hand. My family, on the other hand, has been very busy. I am sure that they will post about it all soon and I'll link to the post ;). Anyway, this has been my very first Easter on my own. We had a sunrise service out at the Wildlife Safari and then we had a wonderful breakfast at the church. I also had the priviledge of being able to participate on the worship team. The people of this church have been such an encouragement to me as I have been adjusting to life here. It's so great to know that I have so many brothers and sisters here who love me and who support me in what I am doing!

As for the people I am staying with, they are amazing!! I don't know what I would do without their love and encouragement. I thank God constantly for His love and care. It is wonderful that I serve a God who not only saves me, but who watches out for me even in the little things. My family isn't here anymore, but God has blessed me with a wonderful sister who has helped me in so many ways!
I think that the Ewerts are finally getting to know me, quirks and all! I have known them since I was 8 or so, but it's different getting know someone as an adult than it was knowing them as a child. We have fallen into more of a pattern of life, I believe, and I am finding my own little corner in the household :) :D. Last night I introduced them to our enchiladas. They were pronounced delicious, so I know that it isn't just us who like them. My mom will appreciate that! (btw, Mom, I added veggies to the ones I made as well. It tasted really good. I think that the only thing I was really missing is chilis *winks)

Plans for the coming year are still a little bit foggy. I have been praying that God would give me wisdom as I decide what I am going to do. I am looking into the option of enrolling in Umpqua Community College come Fall. I won't be able to complete my degree there, but I should be able to get a solid start on it and be able to transfer to Oregon State (or some other college) at the end of the two years. Pray for me in this. One concern is finances. I have applied for financial aid and am praying that, if it's God's will, everything works out. My God is big, and I'm confident that everything will work out according to His plan!

I have started my French up again. Now I am studying on my own. It's a little bit more difficult than when I had a teacher to push me on, but I am making headway! I'd forgotten how much I loved the language until I was finally able to jump back into it. What with the move and all I haven't had much chance to do any studying for the past few months. But all that's going to change!

Come June I am going to be starting up adult Spanish classes. I will be giving two different classes -- one advanced and the other beginner -- and I am going to offer private tutoring for highschool students as well. I have begun putting up flyers in various places in hopes that I will get some feedback. I love teaching Spanish, so I hope that I get enough people interested to be able to have at least one class.

I have also been able to get involved in a girls' Bible study that meets on Wednesday evenings. It's been great getting to know the girls in the group and I have really enjoyed the studies. Right now we are working our way through the book "The Jesus I Never Knew" by Phillip Yancey. It's a very well thought out and well-written book. He has an interesting way of writing. Rather than stating his conclusions outright, he walks you through his thought process, leading you to the conclusion that he came to gradually. I have found it very intriguing and thought-provoking. A good read, if anyone is interested :) .

Oh, and an intersting fact. I now have my own room! Funny though, I had to move out before it happened ;). I have actually missed my little sis' quite terribly. After more than 10 years of sharing the same room you kind of get used to it. I don't think that I would even mind her leaving her stuff on the floor anymore... well, maybe only a little bit :)... love you and miss you lil' sis'!

Alright, I should be getting on with my day. Let me just end with this little poem I wrote. I actually wrote it to be my facebook status on Sunday, so if you recognize it, that's why. This is what Easter means to me.

Resolved
Unbending
Unwavering
Resolved
For I have resolved to know none but Christ and Him crucified
My sins to bear
My shame to remove
My life to buy
Jesus came to be the guiltless sacrifice for the guilty
He, having no sin, became sin for me
Confident
Assured
Resolved
Set apart to serve my Lord and Savior

May you all have an amazing week and a blessed day.
God is good!! Let that fact change the way you live this day!

The Changes Life Brings

Well, here I am again! It's been a long while. I didn't write for some time because I didn't have time, and then I didn't write because I still didn't have time, and then I didn't write because I didn't know how to pick things up where I'd left off. These past months have been months of great change. I have been struggling to find my footing in it all, still haven't gotten there, but my God is a big God and He's helping me to persevere.

In February we left Mexico on our Spring furlough. We had a great trip. God proved Himself faithful time and time again through everything that happened. As of right now my family is back in Mexico gearing up for Semana Santa (Holy Week) and I am in Oregon.

Some of you might be thinking "what???? When did this happen?" The decision was made in December, right after my birthday. I still can't believe that it actually happened, but it did! I have now been here a month. I have two jobs. I work weekends at the Wildlife Safari selling tickets (just for this month) :) and I am also teaching Spanish classes.

It's been such a drastic change for me. I am saddened by so many things that have changed, but excited by what is yet to come. This is a poem that I wrote one morning as I meditated on everything that had been happening. God's been doing some hard things in my heart, but I'm so in love with Him!

STEPS

Take a step, take a leap
As the years go by the steps seem to become more and more like leaps.
Life is like a dark road;
Sometimes you can barely make out what's right in front of you.
The road draws you forward into the unknown.
Going back is impossible, but what is hidden in the darkness ahead?
Take a step, take a leap
Staying put is ever so much easier than moving on.
Most prefer known hardships to stepping forward into unknown possiblilities.
But just imagine those possibilities!
Take the steps and see what they bring.
The girl becomes a woman
The boy becomes a man
The steps we take make us who we are.
Take a step and trust God for the rest.
Who knows, this next step could be the first step of a new adventure.

So, I am going to pick things up here. My mission hasn't changed, just the country :) . As I undertake this new challenge I could really use all of your prayers!
This has been my passage for the month. I hope that it encourages you as much as it has me!!

Romans 8:26-39
In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Just as it is written,
"FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG;
WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED."
But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

In Everything give thanks

Well now, it seems as though I missed a few weeks there.... oh, bother! I did intend on writing such a lovely post on Thanksgiving. When that didn't happen I figured that I would still write the post only I would do it the Thursday after Thanksgiving (makes sense, right?)... obviously, that didn't happen either. Now I can't really undo what I didn't do to begin with, but I am thankful, and even though I missed the holiday, I can still express it!

It would take more of your time than you have to give me to tell you all I am thankful for. My God is SO BIG that to write down everything that He has done in my life and in the life of my family would be next to impossible! That said, know that the following is merely the overflow of a grateful heart:

God built our house this year! I will never forget the amazing way God caused everything to fall into place. I praise the Lord for the lives of everyone who was involved in completing the project. It has been such a blessing to us!

Praise God for changes. It's been a year full of them. Lots of shifting of focus ministry-wise and in our weekly schedule has caused some interesting results. Though at times changes can cause pain, like building muscles, in the end we come out stronger and more complete. For this reason, I am confident that, "He who has begun the good work will perfect it." (Phil 1:6)

Praise God for languages! I have loved and continue to love the intricacy and beauty of written and spoken language. The French lessons I was able to continue during part of this year were an unhoped-for blessing. It's so amazing how God knows all of our deepest wishes and desires!

Praise God for friends. There is no greater joy than to worship the Lord in unity with your brothers and sisters! Aren't you so glad that God didn't create us to walk life's road alone?
For all you, my friends: You guys are awesome and amazing sons and daughters of God! You have all been such an encouragement to me over the years. May the Lord return to you tenfold the blessing you have given to me!

Praise God for family! I love my family to pieces, and I am so glad that God saw fit to lend them to me for awhile ;) !

God has been so very faithful in everything over the past year that I couldn't express it adequately with words. I am truly so joyful in the knowledge of my God. Day by day my Heavenly Father has been teaching me to find my everything in Him, to take joy in the simple things and "be content with such things as I have". I have fallen more and more in love with my Creator each and every day. The joy I have inside just makes me want to jump and yell and cry and then go hug someone! It's at these moments that I realize that this world really is rapidly fading, and I ask myself, "Why are you so caught up?" I am reminded of the words of Paul the apostle writing to Timothy and admonishing him to run with endurance the course/challenge/life that had been set before him. "Don't get entangled in the affairs of this world," said Paul, "Run like an athlete. Discipline yourself and run so as to win!" (2 Tim. 2)

So, as we go into the Christmas season and the new year remember this.

Life is a journey and no matter which road you take you'll end up in front of God in the end. Every one of us will give an account of his travels. The Bible says that many are called and few are chosen. Rest assured in the forgiveness of God, but RUN SO AS TO WIN! (1 Cor. 9)

May all the glory be to God forevermore!!!